Nun’s and Prostitutes

Cave Woman – People can live without sex

Me  – I know

CW – Nun’s and shit

Me – I’m no Nun

CW – I am

Me – Bollocks

CW – It’s about channeling the energy into something else.  I channel mine into meaningful work

Me – Bollocks

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Cave Woman – I got helped by a prostitute today

Me – What?

CW – She was actually very nice

Me – Of course

CW – She ran over to give me directions.

Me – To her vagina?

CW – I couldn’t help but check my pockets for my phone after. You are sick

Me – No you are sick for assuming all prostitutes are thief’s

CW – She looked like a thief

Careless Talk

HM3 Returns Home

HM3 – What am I coming back to? A drunken brothel?!

Zumba Meets MENCAP

HM3 turns up to her local Zumba class for the first time with her mum

HM3 – Are there normally this many disabled people at this class?

Oh no wait, that will be the MENCAP monthly disco

Wasted Time

‘There is no point being miserable now in the hope that one day you will be happy because eventually you will look back to the days when you had a choice and see it as wasted time…..time which we do not have enough of to waste.’

Force Of The Storm

‘When this feeling comes it comes with such force, and I am thrown like the sea throws the vessels that dare to venture out in a storm, I know the calm will return but it comes with such emptiness’

Imagination… Is All Fulfilling

The imagination is a gift… most of the time, so powerful you can find yourself in another world of creation, at times unsure which parts are reality. This new world seems so firm, so concrete and so possible. I spend my days drifting and losing myself in these worlds and I adore the freedom it gives me, to entirely have the life I crave.
When reality is at its toughest is when I sit back and open the door in my mind, it is always ajar. I find myself living a life full of such possibilities, where my longings for excitement are fulfilled and not only for the briefest of moments, before they drift away, but for sustained periods of time, where contentment is mine to lose, not taken away. I am the happiest I have been in my life, I truly believe, but there is always something more and there I have it, I have it all.

Pink Floyd – Wish You Were Here

We’re just two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl, year after year

All You Ever Want To Be

‘She told me she was proud of me and then we made love.  What was it about her that filled me with such longing?  I would be lying if I said I’d ever had a real grip on my life but that was how I had learnt to live and I was coping.  She gave me hope and belief – the kind of things I was living without, and showed me I could be .. well what ever I wanted.’

MISSING! One Cat…Any Colour

While walking to the shop Bob and I pass the local noticeboard where there is a poster for a missing cat

Bob – Missing, one long-haired tortoiseshell and white cat.  I don’t even know what that means

Me – Well it’s got long fur which is coloured white and tortoiseshell

Bob – Oh, well one jumped in our window the other day

Me – Do you think it might be this one?

Bob – I don’t know

Me – What did it look like?

Bob – White and Ginger

Me – Right. Probably not then

Bob – No.

Floating…

‘I know at times I might seem distant but I am a floater, my mind drifts and I become restless. I always have, and imagine I always will be someone who floats from one group to another….people frustrate me so I take myself out of the situation and I come back to appreciate them again. I find it hard to focus my mind; Now I wonder if it is my freedom, my escape from the common place because of my inability to deal with mundane, I love the escapism that gives me. But through all of this there is a core group of people in my life who I always have time for who I will always have time to listen to or hang out with….and I hope you know I will always be here for you, no matter how far away I might appear.’

Don’t Fear HM1 is Here

HM1 – Religion is like one big Chinese whisper that got out of hand

Never Mind Finding God..Where Am I?!

‘The Buddhists say there are 149 ways to god.  I’m not looking for god, only for myself , and that is far more complicated.  Gad has had a great deal written about him; nothing has been written about me.  God is bigger, like my mother, easier to find, even in the dark.  I could be anywhere, and since I can’t describe myself I can’t ask for help.’

– Jeanette Winterson

The Brilliance of KMF

You and Me by KMF

The Joy of Reading Psychology

For my jolly reading today I hit a chapter titled ‘Diagnosis and treatment of traumatic stress among women after child incest’ I had to skip past it.  This degree is not good for finding the positives in life.

Smoking Is A Sign of Weakness

Mad Men

Bertram Cooper – Stop smoking so much, it’s a sign of weakness.  Do you know how Hitler got Neville Chamberlain to give him everything in Munich?  He held the conference in an old palace that forbids smoking and after an hour and a half of not smoking Neville Chamberlain would have given Hitler his mother as a dance partner.

Roger – All I can get from this story is that Hitler didn’t smoke and I do

Difficulty with Doors

Hubby – Is your door shut properly?

HM2 – No and I don’t know how to open it again

Hubby – With the handle?!

HM2 – Oh right

Another Day in The Life of A Red Faced Furby

Furby – So there I am on the tube, wedged into my seat on either side by a fat man and pregnant Chinese lady.  I see that we’ve reached my stop, so to give myself ample time to embark, I stand up as it slow.  It’s nearly stopped, so I take the first step towards the door.  Then what happens?  The driver decided he’s not close enough to the end of the platform, so speeds up again with a jerk that causes me to not only lose my balance, but to SIT ON THE LAP OF THE COMPLETE STRANGER OPPOSITE ME. Happy Thursday

ME – A chav just walked passed me wearing a padded headband with her name ‘Danni’ written on, in gold glitter pen.  Anytime work gets hard be grateful that isn’t you.

Deadly Ladybirds

I sent this picture to a few of my friends, to enhance that summery feeling, I received two distinct responses.

First from a rather keen bean – Did you know that dots on the ladybirds have nothing to do with the years of living.  Some ladybirds have up to 22 dots on the back.  The average lifespan of these cute bugs is three years.  Some people believe that ladybirds can predict the weather.  If they fell off your hand it would rain, if they flew away it would be fine.  Loving the summery pic

Me – Wow what a wealth of ladybird knowledge (what else is there to say?!)

My second response was personal favourite

Cave Woman – Did they crawl on you? If they did you’re going to die

Me – No they didn’t, but thanks for the heads up

Cave Woman – Ok good.

Touch Me

Spartacus, Dogs, Moles and Tampons

While having a conversation about the TV show Spartacus

HM1 – It is pretty much like porn, everyone is having sex everywhere and all the women have their boobs out all the time

ME – Sounds good

HM3 – There was a lot of man on man action in the one I watched

ME – Where is the women on women?

HM1 – There is one near the end of the season where these two women get it on, you see pretty much everything that happens

ME -Do you really, or did you just look away

HM1 – No! Well you will just have to watch it

HM3 – Have you ever counted how many moles you have? I’ve got 72……Actually that’s not true, I don’t know how many I have.

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While watching The Only Way is Essex..

HM3 -What does ‘dog on heat mean?’ does it mean you are really horny or just that you are hot and a dog?

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Prior to a night out we decide everyone should make up a challenge that Furby has to achieve before the end of the night

Friend 1 – Get a boys number written on your chest

Me – Tell someone you would like to have sex with them, but would like to talk it through first

HM1 – Be my own private bar all night

Me – Good idea, maybe I’ll go with that one!

HM3 – Take some bobbles, tampons and lollies, go sit in the toilets and see how much money you can make!

The Start of Campus

Can not wait for the start of Campus on Channel 4 tonight, need something to fill the gaping hole left by Green Wing

Henry David Thoreau

If a woman does not keep pace with her companions, perhaps just because she hears a different drummer, let her step to the music she hears however measured or far away
– Henry David Thoreau

John Legend – Sun Comes Up

Because he is a legend…and this tune can’t fail to make you smile