Upon Her Royal Highness entering Slut’s home and seeing her sister with the Hoover
HRH – Is that your maid?
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Upon waking after a night out
Slut – Do you have any water?
HRH – We don’t have water but I can give you tea or coffee
Slut – Surely you must have water if you can make tea
HRH – What? you want tap water?!
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As she pops to get a bottle of Champagne..
HRH – Sorry it’s only Moet
The Facts of Life 
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