Lessons

I’ve learnt that you can’t make someone love you, all you can do is be someone who can be loved

I’ve learnt that no matter how much I care some people just don’t care back

I’ve learnt it takes years to build up trust, and only seconds to destroy it

I’ve learnt it’s not what you have in your life, but who you have in your life that counts

I’ve learnt that you shouldn’t compare yourself to the best others can do, but to the best you can do

I’ve learnt it’s not what happens to people that’s important, but what they do about it

I’ve learnt you can do something in an instant that will give you heartache for life

I’ve learnt that no matter how thin you slice it, there is always two sides

I’ve learnt that it’s taking me a long time to become the person I want to be

I’ve learnt you should always leave loved ones with loving words, it may be the last time you see them

I’ve learnt you can keep going long after you think you can’t

I’ve learnt it’s hard to determine where to draw the line between being nice, not hurting people’s feelings and standing up for what you believe

This is Your LIFE

Flattery

Upon discovering I like sweet on savoury, namely chocolate on a pancake (I still believe this to be entirely satisfactory)

Mullet – I used to proper fancy you, and now I just think you are a nob.

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

Moments later in the office…

Mullet *pause mid conversation* …I thought that was the sound of ***** having a stroke, no such luck………OH god that felt so bad, even as the words were in my mouth I knew that was bad

Conversation between Gran and Dad

The following conversation occurred between my 94-year-old grandma and my dad

Dad – Do you need anything from the shop?

Gran – Some fresh air…I’ve not been out all week

Dad – Yes you have , I took you to the shops yesterday

Gran *Silence*

Dad – Do you remember?

Gran – I’m bored.

Daughter (Elena Tonra)

Night Paved with Gold…

HM2 on checking her purse following a night out

HM2 – ‘What was I drinking last night, GOLD?!’

It’s Only a Game Show…With Furby

Up to date list of games Furby and I play to pass time, and generally make us feel better about our sad existence

1. Jan or Man

2. Pikey or Dykey

3. Lesbian or Thespian

4. Child or Dwarf

5. Gay or Gangsta

Not a generalisation or stereotype in sight….

‘Sometimes it strikes me how

poverty and privilege became silent neighbours,

and the world keeps going….

because it has to’

The Terrifying Brains of my Team Mates

Junior – I know twins who were born identical but are non-identical now

*We all look at her to ensure she is being serious…she is*

Lowry – I don’t think you do

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

I return to my room while away with my team to find my roomie and a number of others sat looking at my laptop

Albino – We tried to guess your password, but it wasn’t any of the obvious things

Lowry – Let me guess did you try ‘lesbian’

Albino – Yup

Lowry – ‘homosexual’

Albino – Yup

Lowry –  ‘ilovestraightgirls’

Albino – Oh we didn’t think of that one…is that it?

Lowry – NO!

Albino – We did try ‘scissoring’ but is wasn’t that either

Lowry – This is truly shocking

Visiting the Palace

While staying with Albino at her Palace

Albino – All I can hear is my own voice….I know that’s not a bad thing.

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

Lowry – Is this Free Willy?  Are we really going to watch this?

Albino – Yep

Lowry – Really?!

Albino – Is it because you’re a lesbian?

Chat with the Cat

Half way through a conversation with my Dad he gets up, walks into the kitchen, opens the back door

Dad – No Vestie (The neighbours cat) you can’t come in

Vestie – Meow

Dad – I’ve told you, no

Dad shuts the door and returns to the conversation. I’m still unsure how he knew the cat was waiting at the door.

Follow @alybo23 – My hero

Stolen from @alybo23 EVERYBODY should follow her:

‘Spent most of the day thinking of ways to remove myself entirely from human interaction. so far i have: dying.’