Keep in Touch

Conversation with the office gossip regarding me leaving…well that is what I was talking about…

Gossip – Well, think of me when you are…doing things….

Lowry – Actually I try my best not to, but feel free to think of me

G – I already do

L – Lovely.  Maybe I’ll give you a little text to let you know what I am up to

G – A picture?

L – Unlikely

G – Do you want my wife’s number?

L – I’m not going to text your wife

G – Why not? She wouldn’t mind

L – Yeah, I’m not going to do that

G – Really, she wouldn’t mind

L – *Silence*

G – OK I’m going to leave, this has got inappropriate

Interviewing skills

Alan Carr – Where does this phobia of dogs come from?….  Were you touched by a dog when you were little?

Ageing

While in the supermarket buying alcohol with Peahead

Cashier -*pointing at peahead* you look young *pointing at Lowry* you do not

Lowry – Right, good.

 

 

Friendship

‘When you’re sad, I will help you get pissed and get the bastard that upset you.. When you’re blue, I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.. When you’re scared, I will rip the piss out of you until you’re not .. When you’re worried, I will tell you how much worse it could be until you stop moaning… When you’re sick, stay the f..k away from me & When you fall, I’ll laugh my head off’

Beauty Pressures

When discussing how best to lose weight

Mate – I know everyone says you should eat little and often, but its not the best way.  I found I lost the most weight when…well I did have to go to the doctors because my periods stopped and I kept passing out… I know thats not great but I lost loads of weight and all I had was cereal for breakfast and as low fat dinner as I could.  I didn’t store my next meal as fat like they say you do

Lowry – That’s because you never had a next meal! Oh and I like you way more like this

Mate – Me to!

Diet?

Boss – I’ve lost about 1/2 a stone since I stopped living with her

Grumpy – Well we know what she eats

Boss – An insane amount

Grumpy – A huge amount of shit

Lowry – She has definitely lost weight since I was last here

Grumpy – She does work hard in the gym

Boss – Oh yeah I reckon she’s lost a stone

Grumpy – WHAT? What did she do, chop off a leg?!

What Are Boobies?

These lovely comments came from the best person I know in the world, my 3 year old nephew….

While eating lunch he turns to his mum…

Nephew – I’m finished darling

While being told off…

Nephew – *in cute voice with puppy dog eyes* But I like you

While playing cars…

Nephew – What are boobies?

Sat in the lounge after dinner…

Nephew – It’s got dark love