Smile, Open Your Eyes, Love and Go On

To me, to all of us, Grandma has always been there. Such a huge part of our lives, our family traditions.

I found myself lost in thoughts that perhaps I had taken her for granted, but now I understand that it was the comforting familiarity of a person you are entirely content to be around.

Yes I assumed she would be there, because she always was, every Sunday dinner, birthday, wedding, graduation or celebration. She was always there, in some way, to let us know how proud she was of any of our achievements.

She took such an avid interest in all our lives, after all how often does someone ask you about your life and listen with genuine interest, before sharing that interest and pride with others.

Now I want her to know how utterly proud I was that she was mine, our, Grandma

We love you

A Whiter Shade of Pale

It’s Only a Game Show…

Hilarious answers on game shows

Family Fortunes

Les Dennis: Name a bird with a long neck.
Contestant: Naomi Campbell.

Les Dennis: Name something associated with pigs.
Contestant: The police.

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University Challenge (My Personal Favourite)

Jeremy Paxman: What is another name for ‘cherrypickers’ and ‘cheesemongers’?
Contestant: Homosexuals.
Jeremy Paxman: No. They’re regiments in the British Army who will be very upset with you

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Beacon Radio (Right up there!)

DJ: For £10, what is the nationality of the Pope?
Contestant: I think I know that one. Is it Jewish?

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Richard and Judy

Richard Madeley: Which American actor is married to Nicole Kidman?
Contestant: Forrest Gump.

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The Weakest Link

Anne Robinson: Complete the title of the well-known play, The Iceman…?
Contestant: Melts.

Anne Robinson: What was the sequel to the movie I Know What You Did Last Summer?
Contestant: I Know What You Did Last Winter.

Presenter: What B was a pseudonym used by Charles Dickens?
Contestant: Bart Simpson

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National Lottery

Eamonn Holmes: What’s the name of the playwright commonly known by the initials G.B.S.?
Contestant: William Shakespeare.

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This Morning

Fern Britton: Which actress starred in Sleepless in Seattle and When Harry Met Sally?
Contestant: Tom Hanks.

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Late Show

Alex Trelinski: What is the capital of Italy?
Contestant: France.

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Blockbuster (A close second!)

Bob Holness: What K is a suicide mission for a pilot?
Contestant: Kama Sutra

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Sara Cox (Radio 1)

Sara Cox: Beauty is in the eye of the…?
Contestant: Tiger.

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Viking FM

Presenter: Who was the Prime Minister before Tony Blair?
Contestant: George Bush.

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BBC Radio Merseyside (Another favourite)

Presenter: What was Hitler’s first name?
Contestant: Heil.

Blessed

 

When it comes to struggling to find the words to sum up my feelings about a situation, it seems my favourite author (Jeanette Winterson) has already beautifully expressed the emotion I’m fighting so hard to convey

‘”You’ll get over it…..” it’s the cliches that cause the trouble. To lose someone you love is to alter your life for ever. You don’t get over it because ‘it’ is the person you loved. The pain stops, there are new people, but the gap never lessens. How could it? The particularness of someone who mattered enough to grieve over is not made anodyne by death. This hole in my heart is in the shape of you and no-one else can fit it. Why would I want them to’

I was blessed with 3 very different and equally important grandparents all of whom had a hugely positive impact on my life … You are eternally loved and never forgotten xxx

 

Must Be Love

Lowry – Do you think he likes you?

Nut – Well he did ask me out on our lunch break once when we were at school, and he brought me a Curly Wurly because he knew they were my favourite

Lowry – Sorry, he asked you out with a Curly Wurly at school?

Nut – Yes

Lowry – Right, must be love

Lowry – How many years ago was this?

Nut – About 5

Oh Furby

Furby – So there’s this girl who I have a massive crush on, standard, and she offered to give me a lift to the station tonight.  Obviously I jumped at the chance, and while in the car launched into standard small talk by asking what she does for a living.  ‘I run a personal training business’ she said, and showed me her card with the website on it, ‘you should have a look’.  Instead of responding with something supportive or witty (either would have been appropriate), I came out with ‘nice URL‘. What is wrong with me?

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Furby – Most depressing email ever: ‘Diva magazine is now following you on Twitter‘

Lowry – hahahahahahhahahahahahahahjajahajahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahhahahahahhahahahahjajahahahahahahahhaa *breath* hahahapapphhhhaanahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahaha

Furby – Knob

Loving Strangers – Russian Red

Conversation You Wish You’d Never Over Heard

This conversation was from my mum’s side of a telephone call. There are somethings you don’t need to hear come from your parents mouths…I think these are some of those things.

Mum – ‘Ooo stop it..sorry he’s trying to put pegs on my nipples’
*laugher*
‘my husband!…..oh no there’s no tassels’