Do You Smell That?

While sat in the lounge

Fairy – It’s not good when you think you can smell your own armpit odour

[Pause]

Lowry – No. It’s not.

Mayer Hawthorn – The Walk

Can’t help but dance to this…

Digits

During a conversation with Furby regarding the fact I have never been to G.A.Y for a night out

Furby – You will have them hanging off each of your digits

Lowry – Lovely.

Fat Head

Cave woman – I’ve got a fat head again, I just looked in the mirror. Why does my weight go to my head

Lowry – I almost fell off the sofa. You do not have a fat head. Besides I look 3 months pregnant again. In fact I’m starting to think I may be pregnant.

CW – Oh god. Maybe have a test

Lowry – I think the fact I’ve had my period and not had sex with a boy for a number of months may reassure me….but it’s hard to admit I’m just fat

CW – It might be hiding in your womb. HAHA I just thought about a front cover for one of those crap magazines ‘Lesbian has baby whilst having a poo and she didn’t know she was pregnant’

Lowry – Oh my god imagine!

CW – I’d piss myself. Literally. Then probably steal your baby

Lowry  – Me too but I’d probably have a weak bladder by then anyway…That will be the follow-up story ‘Lesbian best friend stole the baby I didn’t know I was pregnant with’

CW – Haha then left it in the supermarket because she was too tired to carry it home…

Lowry – Good job I’m not actually pregnant….

Tongue Stabbing

During a conversation regarding a kiss shared with a BEAUTIFUL boy, which had upsettingly thrust me back to the age of 15 and the kiss that had confirmed for me that I’d rather be a lesbian that have to live through (and I was grateful to live through it) more kisses like that

Fairy – I just don’t like someone stabbing their tongue in me

And it’s a fair point, but really can someone explain this need to tickle the back of your throat with their tongue? 15 year old boy I am ready to forgive, but beautiful boy… I’m not angry, I’m just disappointed…

 

Durex Bunny?

Nut – I had another excellent day in work. I informed some customers they needed batteries with their purchase and when they asked what kind we sell in the store as they want ‘quality’ …. I don’t know why these words came out of my mouth but ‘Durex‘ rather than ‘Duracell‘ appeared and I just couldn’t find the word ‘Duracell’ … it was awkward