45 Years of Marriage

Dad – I wouldn’t want to miss the opportunity to have you standing over my shoulder telling me how much better I could be doing it

Beauty Pressures

When discussing how best to lose weight

Mate – I know everyone says you should eat little and often, but its not the best way.  I found I lost the most weight when…well I did have to go to the doctors because my periods stopped and I kept passing out… I know thats not great but I lost loads of weight and all I had was cereal for breakfast and as low fat dinner as I could.  I didn’t store my next meal as fat like they say you do

Lowry – That’s because you never had a next meal! Oh and I like you way more like this

Mate – Me to!

First Rant in a While – Student Fees

First rant in a while comes in relation to student tuition fees, having not agreed with the way in which some students (and more likely, a few randoms) saw this as an excuse to get enraged and start throwing the odd punch and anything else they can get their hands on, I have remained quiet (other than the odd inter-friendship group debate).  Yet I have to say it infuriates me.  Having decided to enter education much later than the norm, giving up my income was a difficult decision enough, let alone the amount of consideration I would had to have given the decision if fees had been what they are now.

University has been an incredible experience for me, despite my doubts when I first made the leap back into education, and I have found myself loving learning and developing knowledge in an area I am very passionate about.  It is an experience that ALL should be entitled too, not only those whose parents can afford to subsidise them, or those who can acquire sponsors.  For many the sacrifice of giving up an income or merely the consideration of the, now overwhelming, debt they will leave university with may be a huge put off.  Now I appreciate that for many University is an obvious step from school or college and often is done without much thought for other options, I know I was in a very small minority not going to University straight from my school.  But should it really come down to finances to decide who is ‘entitled’ to that experience?  What about those with children, families to support?  Yes there are additional bursaries but with the increase are they ever going to be enough?
Whatever a person’s reasons for going to university I truly believe it is an enriching one, whether it be in terms of social skills, presentations skills, confidence, developing understand of yourself, the best way you learn, learning to have and to voice opinions, developing understanding and knowledge in areas of interest, use of the library and other learning resources, planning, learning to budget, and other skills to aid moving away from home and into the ‘real world’.   As well as skills in hunting down the discount sections of Sainsbury’s or Tesco’s, time keeping (with Sainsbury’s ‘taster’ sessions, nothing like a free picnic), developing the ability to stomach Tesco’s own vodka, understanding why ‘Home Bargains‘ is in existence, why it is big and clever to run around the athletics track naked at 2am, tolerance (when you are woken at 4am because your housemate ‘had the shitest / best night ever’ and needs to tell you about it NOW).

So upon reading about the governments new White Paper of which the title is ‘Students at the Heart of the System’ I found myself thinking, why wasn’t this always the main focus?  The suggestion being that the student is now a customer and entitled to demand value for money.  So was I and all the millions of students to attend university before this date not entitled to such demands?  Only recently I found myself questioning my ‘value for money’ upon attending my first lecture of the semester and being told ‘you don’t really need to bother coming to these lectures’ unfortunately that particular lecturer was correct, I probably would have learnt more from home, however this was very much a one-off the huge majority of my lecturers were fantastic, encouraging, passionate and inspiring.

A personal favourite section ‘The Office of Fair Access (Offa) will have its resources increased and monitor the plans and targets universities must set for attracting students from disadvantaged backgrounds if they want to charge more than £6,000 fees’ I’m biting my tongue about this section.

Are we going to find ourselves in the position of students applying to institutions based on what they can afford, rather than the course most suitable or the best in that specific area of study?  Will we find we end up like the supermarkets, with only 5 or 6 big names?

It seems the focus is not at all the students but profit and by trying to place power in the hands of those students able to pay…who knows where the government maybe taken.  I find it saddening that many will have to miss out on  an enriching experience, at whatever stage of their life, due to money.

Hello ever-increasing class gap

What a Gent

Cave Woman – I’ve just come out of ASDA and this guy said, to who I assume is his girlfriend “God I could fucking rape you sometimes”. That’s nice isn’t it?

Lowry – What a lucky lady to have such a nice chap as a boyfriend

Diet Time?!

I looked at this …..

… And then looked at my stomach, before thinking ‘shit I really shouldn’t be drinking this’

Twix Rejection

On offering ‘albino‘ half my twix

Albino – I’ve seen better fingers

Dirty Flashers and Chunky Milk

Harvo – I had gone off milk in my cereal this morning without realising, like chunky gone off

Dezza – Oh my god babes, that’s horrible

Harvo – I know! And I kept being sick on my run so I’ve now come to the conclusion that is why!

Dezza – That’s so horrible

Harvo – And I saw a fat ugly naked guy in the bulrushes

Dezza – Oh my god what was he doing?

Harvo – Like touching himself

Dezza – Was he drunk?

Harvo – I pelted it the other way, I was so scared

Dezza – Did he know you were looking? Oh babes that’s so gross

Harvo – I know, sick twisted guy.  At like half 2 in the afternoon as well

Dezza – Haha funny, poor you.  I hope you’re not scared

Harvo – I’m fine but it made me more sick I think

Dezza – That’s so bad

Me – This is the funniest conversation I’ve heard in a while

Harvo – I am glad you enjoyed my twisted day

Private School Education

Me – You need to mow the lawn

HM2 – Oh I’ll get moves to do it

Me – Just because she is Filipino does not mean you can get her to do all your manual labour

HM2 – Oh

The Rhythm of my Mind

All my thoughts dance around each other in a haze of uncertainty, each hiding behind a mist which prevents me from seeing them for all they are.  They flit backwards and forwards in time with the rhythm in my mind, never staying in one place long enough to be clear, to be understood.  I let them fly for it is so very hard to capture one, to hold it down, I am never quick enough.  Soon I am left unable to truly comprehend what it is that is dancing around my mind so I let each feeling that partners each thought waltz back and forth through the haze and hope that it won’t last too long, that soon there will be another song, another dance, another partner, another feeling

Wasted Time

‘There is no point being miserable now in the hope that one day you will be happy because eventually you will look back to the days when you had a choice and see it as wasted time…..time which we do not have enough of to waste.’

Imagination… Is All Fulfilling

The imagination is a gift… most of the time, so powerful you can find yourself in another world of creation, at times unsure which parts are reality. This new world seems so firm, so concrete and so possible. I spend my days drifting and losing myself in these worlds and I adore the freedom it gives me, to entirely have the life I crave.
When reality is at its toughest is when I sit back and open the door in my mind, it is always ajar. I find myself living a life full of such possibilities, where my longings for excitement are fulfilled and not only for the briefest of moments, before they drift away, but for sustained periods of time, where contentment is mine to lose, not taken away. I am the happiest I have been in my life, I truly believe, but there is always something more and there I have it, I have it all.

Floating…

‘I know at times I might seem distant but I am a floater, my mind drifts and I become restless. I always have, and imagine I always will be someone who floats from one group to another….people frustrate me so I take myself out of the situation and I come back to appreciate them again. I find it hard to focus my mind; Now I wonder if it is my freedom, my escape from the common place because of my inability to deal with mundane, I love the escapism that gives me. But through all of this there is a core group of people in my life who I always have time for who I will always have time to listen to or hang out with….and I hope you know I will always be here for you, no matter how far away I might appear.’

Henry David Thoreau

If a woman does not keep pace with her companions, perhaps just because she hears a different drummer, let her step to the music she hears however measured or far away
– Henry David Thoreau

Why Would I Give Up Chocolate For Lent?!

HM3 – Right I’m just going to eat all that chocolate in my room

Me – I don’t think you should do that

HM3 – Why, why, WHY NOT?! I don’t even know why I did this, why would I do this? I don’t even know what lent is about, I’m not religious, I don’t know why on earth I let you lot bully me into doing this…AND WHY DID I GIVE UP CHOCOLATE? How stupid am I? What am I going to do in New York when I look at all the puddings, the chocolate brownies and the chocolate waffles oh god chocolate waffles. Why why why?!

A Quick Game is a Good Game

During a game of disassociation, which does pretty much what is says on the tin, follow a word with a word that can not be associated in any way, players can challenge this …..

Furby – Blackman

Me – Brick

HM2 – CHALLENGE…Blackmen lay bricks

Me – Oh my god it’s just not ok to say that [rant at HM2 ensures informing her I will not stand for her low-level racism]

Furby is crying with laughter, and having regained herself…

Furby – I said BATman not BLACKman!

More From Cave Woman

Conversation with Cave Woman

Cave Woman – Chamois leather face lizard psycho bitch…if that girl was Pinocchio she would be able to have sex with herself

ME – I just nearly wet myself

Cave Woman – Also bumped into ****** who seemingly has turned into a bell end also.  Talking about how she had to work at a state school for a week and how horrific it was, how the children were like animals.  Also just heard she’s engaged, yes that’s right engaged.  Fucking lesbians

ME – Until she changes her facebook status I refuse to believe a thing!

Cave Woman – Oh yes facebook that ridiculous oracle of knowledge.  I’m having a guinness to recover.

Running buddy

HM3 – I’ve been thinking I’m going to take up jogging

ME – Oh cool, do you want to come for a run with me in the morning?

HM3 – No

So Why Worry…?

‘When you worry about what people may think about any aspect of your being, it’s because you’re worried about it.’

No short-cuts

‘There are no short-cuts in life or in love, this pain must be felt … the alternative is much worse.  It’s what makes us special, makes us beautiful, what makes us worthy.  The pain of how we love … but that pain is accompanied by something else isn’t it – Hope.  With your pain there is hope, and that is where you are somewhere between agony and optimism and pray. So you are human, you are alive and that is what we have’

Embrace The Love…And Have No Fear

Todays post is somewhat inspired by a friend of mines blog…we shall refer to her as the ‘Welsh One’, in which she discusses her desperation at the British male population, particularly following a holiday in which she encountered a new concept of ‘man’.  This is added to by my somewhat avid viewing of pretty much any offensive American drama…The OC, Greys Anatomy, Private Practice, Greek, Six Feet Under, Dexter, The L-Word, even at a very low point 90210…I have discovered the answer to the problem.

Honestly

This is what it all comes down to, such a simple basic human mechanism that so many of us fail at.  Granted watching these shows would be somewhat dull if we had to spend half our time trying to work out what each character was thinking, yet we do it in our everyday lives.  The fear of honesty, of perhaps putting ourselves out there and the biggest fear – the loss of pride – prevents us, I believe, it achieves much within a relationship.  I can accept like anyone it can be a daunting experience but if you don’t try you never know, if you never give you never get back…. and in reality what do you have to lose?

Now I do very much believe there is a line between over sharing and expressing ones self, and I appreciate that there are some that have difficulties with this area more so that others.  I by no means am suggesting that we should give ourselves away easily however I do believe that there is much happiness to gain from learning the art of self-awareness, understanding yourself and your own feelings and therefore having confidence in them.  In reality what does worrying about what others think get you? Not what you really want, or even what you think you want.

I say we have faith in ourselves and our feelings, we become more open and we do not shame those who have the guts to do so.  You never know what you might find if you open yourself up a little… yes there is always some pain but we all experience it and it is part of life…without it how would be know what was important to us?  So be brave, have faith in yourself and know that whatever happens there will always be some good down the line.  Don’t let people make a fool of you but have no fear of making a fool of yourself…you never know what you are missing  out on.

The greatest thing I have ever learnt is to laugh at myself…..

Momus’ Cunning Plan

Through my readings today (and over active imagination) I have become convinced I am the living embodiment of the Greek god Momus. It may seem a rather rash conclusion to have come to but the more I read the more certain I become that he created me to live through on earth. I imagine it happened like this…..
While sat on a mountain on the outskirts of Mount Olympus, following his banishment by Zeus (damn him and his bearded ways), glancing over earth he thought, as a puppet master might…… I can create a version of me, a mortal version, who may live on earth. Being cunning as I am I shall make her female, that way no one will guess it is me. I shall create her with a window to her soul and she will desire to access what is in the human heart, and she will laugh while she does it….and I will sit on my mountain and laugh at her!

My first point would be Momus is the Greek god of criticism and sarcasm…my friends may suggest that is my point proven and I need not go on. And granted it was these simple points which first caught my, desperately seeking anything other than work, attention. I would suggest that further reading only went on to support my initial claim. Momus is the son of Nyx, the goddess off night; he was also the god of writers and poets.
Momus took issue with another of the gods Hephaestus, the son of Zeus, for he created the first woman, Pandora, at the command of Zeus. Momus criticised Hephaestus for not creating women with a door or window into the breast through which their thoughts and feeling could be seen (without a window to the soul). I personally think this would have been kind of handy, saved us all a bit of time. Momus also mocked Zeus himself stating he was a violent god and lusts for women (basically he was a violent dirty philanderer). The only one thing he struggled to find any reason to mock was Aphrodite (the goddess of love and beauty) although he did attempt to suggesting she was talkative and had creaky sandals (bet that one really hurt). I believe this may well be the first evidence of playground psychology, Momus wanted a piece of the beautiful Aphrodite and not being used to such feelings dealt with them in the only way he knew how, through mocking. It was because of all his mocking and criticism that Momus was banished from Mount Olympus … and this is when he had time to sit and think about his great master plan. A mortal self.

I would like to share my new found appreciation of my god self in the form of this poem by Ella Wheeler Wilcox, American author and poet who wrote of optimism

Though with gods the world is cumbered,
Gods unnamed, and gods unnumbered,
Never god was known to be
Who had not his devotee.
So I dedicate to mine,
Here in verse, my temple-shrine.

‘Tis not Ares, – mighty Mars,
Who can give success in wars.
‘Tis not Morpheus, who doth keep
Guard above us while we sleep,
‘Tis not Venus, she whose duty
‘Tis to give us love and beauty;
Hail to these, and others, after
Momus, gleesome god of laughter.

Quirinus would guard my health,
Plutus would insure me wealth;
Mercury looks after trade,
Hera smiles on youth and maid.
All are kind, I own their worth,
After Momus, god of mirth.

Though Apollo, out of spite,
Hides away his face of light,
Though Minerva looks askance,
Deigning me no smiling glance,
Kings and queens may envy me
While I claim the god of glee.

Wisdom wearies, Love had wings –
Wealth makes burdens, Pleasure stings,
Glory proves a thorny crown –
So all gifts the gods throw down
Bring their pains and troubles after;
All save Momus, god of laughter.
He alone gives constant joy.
Hail to Momus, happy boy.

First rant…What are the BBC thinking??

The BBC’s, in their wisdom, decided to interview Stephen Green the right-wing fundamentalist Christian on his opinion of Sir Elton John and David Furnish becoming parents.  This is the same Mr Green who in 2009 supported a proposed death penalty for gay men in Uganda saying: “The contrast between our politicians and those of Uganda could not be more stark. A Parliamentarian in Uganda is trying to protect his nation’s children. The House of Commons of the United Kingdom is trying to corrupt ours. Which country is the more civilised, I wonder, in the eyes of Almighty God?”

Now after taking a deep breath I still find myself burning with rage.  You will of course be shocked to hear that Mr Green did not send his heart-felt best wishes to Elton and David.  I understand that many people will have their differing views on this topic, and I am all for hearing both sides of the debate but really BBC having a hateful, hateful person who has such extreme views to comment on a topic which you KNOW he is going to be extremely negative about and make disgusting comments in relation to is just foolish.

What amuses me about this is how the BBC seem to have forgotten that in 2007 Mr Green attempted to bring a private prosecution against the director general of the BBC for the broadcast of ‘Jerry Springer: The Opera’ saying it was blasphemous.  In 2008 he likened Ian Watkins (H, off of Steps) to mass murder Jeffrey Dahmer!!!  As irritating as the man might be this is extreme in anyones eyes.

He also criticised former Welsh Rugby Captain, Gareth Thomas, for becoming  a patron of the LGBT history month saying: “Gareth Thomas is urging such children to identify themselves as homosexual, and to inhibit their normal development into heterosexuality. That is a wicked thing to do to impressionable young people. The Lord Jesus Christ spoke about millstones being tied around the necks of those who lead children astray.”

I think I must have misinterpreted this support as urging…If Mr Green had any understanding of what it is like to be part of the homosexual world he would appreciate that there is certainly no form of urging, only attempts to support people (whatever age) to deal with something that is happening in their life, something that was never a choice and something that people like him make far more difficult that it should be.

If it is not upsetting enough that people like this exist in the world the BBC have made fools of themselves in asking him to comment on such a topic, and it is no wonder actors such as Richard Chamberlin are advising gay actors to stay in closet.  I was saddened when I saw this headline, and enraged when I saw the BBC’s.

It makes you wonder if anyone would want to bring children into a world like this.  I guess I can except that there will always be people in the world with these extreme views, for whatever reasons, but the BBC thrusting these views into the limelight I can’t understand.  So much more I could say but it feels some what futile so I leave on this note

ERGH………..!