More ‘Wise’ Words From Cavewoman

CW – It’s always great to start a new relationship by imagining someone else when you are having sex

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In relation to Channel 4’s Living with the Amish

CW – I wouldn’t mind the lifestyle but i’d still want to go out on a Friday get totally fucked up and shag someone

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CW – How do ugly people get pregnant and have children?

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The little conversation had while watching ITV’s A Night With Beyonce (the family version!)

CW – Mate, wait for this bit

Lowry – Fuck me

CW – Oh my god

Lowry  – Quick rewind it…REWIND IT!

CW – mmmmmmmm

Lowry – Shit

CW – Can we watch that bit again?

Lowry – YES!

CW – Ergggg

Lowry – Are you drooling?

Lowry – This is insane

CW – She has fat knees like me – she’s brilliant

Lowry – Curving hell

Lowry – Did you see THAT!

CW – Oh gwaddd

CW – Shall we watch it again?

Lowry – alright

Surf and Turf

From Campus Channel 4

Matt Beer – Trust me, I’ve been inside more women than I have newsagent, think surf and turf

Flatpack – What, is that a sexual thing?

Matt Beer – Um, no.  Women are the sea, the surf, their minds are always shifting, their bodies like the tide are ruled by the pull of the moon.  Now women have

Flatpack – What big nipples?

Matt Beer – Some of them, yeah.  I was thinking more, you know, hidden depths where dark and dangerous things lurk, but in their shallows you’ll be safe

Flatpack – Ok so I’ll just keep it shallow then

Matt Beer – Well I never go in deeper than my knees but if you want more you have to be prepared to venture out of your depths, where in all likelihood you will get sucked down by a vicious undercurrent and get swept out into the endless black ocean of the female psyche, where…sadly you will drown

Flatpack – Fuck

Matt Beer – Yeah

Flatpack – So whats the turf bit?

Matt Beer – Right that’s us, men, thick solid sods of earth that get under your nails, what you see is what you get

Kitty – Brothers and Sisters

‘The world is too fragile for people to be untrue. There’s too much at stake, and life’s too short for lies.’

Kitty – Brothers and Sister – Channel 4

Broody Millionaire

Quote from this evenings Secret Millionaire Channel 4

‘I never really wanted marriage and children, I have an allergy to children.  There was a period of 10 days in my thirties when I was broody, but I say it’s like flu, I got over it’.

The Start of Campus

Can not wait for the start of Campus on Channel 4 tonight, need something to fill the gaping hole left by Green Wing