Fat Head

Cave woman – I’ve got a fat head again, I just looked in the mirror. Why does my weight go to my head

Lowry – I almost fell off the sofa. You do not have a fat head. Besides I look 3 months pregnant again. In fact I’m starting to think I may be pregnant.

CW – Oh god. Maybe have a test

Lowry – I think the fact I’ve had my period and not had sex with a boy for a number of months may reassure me….but it’s hard to admit I’m just fat

CW – It might be hiding in your womb. HAHA I just thought about a front cover for one of those crap magazines ‘Lesbian has baby whilst having a poo and she didn’t know she was pregnant’

Lowry – Oh my god imagine!

CW – I’d piss myself. Literally. Then probably steal your baby

Lowry  – Me too but I’d probably have a weak bladder by then anyway…That will be the follow-up story ‘Lesbian best friend stole the baby I didn’t know I was pregnant with’

CW – Haha then left it in the supermarket because she was too tired to carry it home…

Lowry – Good job I’m not actually pregnant….

Dirty Flashers and Chunky Milk

Harvo – I had gone off milk in my cereal this morning without realising, like chunky gone off

Dezza – Oh my god babes, that’s horrible

Harvo – I know! And I kept being sick on my run so I’ve now come to the conclusion that is why!

Dezza – That’s so horrible

Harvo – And I saw a fat ugly naked guy in the bulrushes

Dezza – Oh my god what was he doing?

Harvo – Like touching himself

Dezza – Was he drunk?

Harvo – I pelted it the other way, I was so scared

Dezza – Did he know you were looking? Oh babes that’s so gross

Harvo – I know, sick twisted guy.  At like half 2 in the afternoon as well

Dezza – Haha funny, poor you.  I hope you’re not scared

Harvo – I’m fine but it made me more sick I think

Dezza – That’s so bad

Me – This is the funniest conversation I’ve heard in a while

Harvo – I am glad you enjoyed my twisted day