Tag Archives: Dating

Blind Date

22 Dec

Hilarious story told at this years Christmas Party

“So I finally convinced her to go on this date and she rang me when she got home to fill me in. First of all he’d arrived in a very questionable outfit but she thought I’m here now I’ll go with it, and the evening had gone generally quite well so she went home with him. Upon getting into the house he striped off, totally naked, before lying down in front of the fire and cracking open a bag of cheese and onion crisps. If she wasn’t distressed enough he then started wanking off. All she could think was ‘I don’t know if it’s just different to what I’m used to but I’m pretty sure he had way too much foreskin and I could just hear it slapping around’. By this point she was rather distressed and thought it may well be time to call a cab, as she goes to leave he turns to her and says ‘Just a little tip, you may want to have a trim down there’ horrified she turned round and replied ‘Don’t worry, one day you’ll grow into that foreskin’ before retreating to the taxi giving a gleeful wave and a joyful ‘Byeee’ she hasn’t been on a date since!”

Must Be Love

8 Oct

Lowry – Do you think he likes you?

Nut – Well he did ask me out on our lunch break once when we were at school, and he brought me a Curly Wurly because he knew they were my favourite

Lowry – Sorry, he asked you out with a Curly Wurly at school?

Nut – Yes

Lowry – Right, must be love

Lowry – How many years ago was this?

Nut – About 5