Raver’s Summer Plan

The raver decides in order to get a grip of her life she should make a summer plan consisting of…

1- Be clean (No marker pen)
2- Pluck eyebrows
3- Self maintenance
4- 3 meals a day of solid food
5- Rehydrate with water
6- No alcoholism
7- No drugs
8- Gym
9- Wash clothes
10- Dress less like a jan
11- Get over past jans
12- Find a nice jan
13- Find jobs
14- Save money
15- Sleep 7 hours a night in your own bed
16- Eat fruit
17- Don’t get involved in drama
18- No drunken Facebook / texting / phone calls / Skype
19- No crying
20- Moisturise / no spots
21- Brush the lid

We discussed this while in the pub (where she was drinking) before drinking a vase full of beer, going out, making it home at 4.30am and having well under the specified 7 hours sleep….maybe start tomorrow!

More From Cave Woman

Conversation with Cave Woman

Cave Woman – Chamois leather face lizard psycho bitch…if that girl was Pinocchio she would be able to have sex with herself

ME – I just nearly wet myself

Cave Woman – Also bumped into ****** who seemingly has turned into a bell end also.  Talking about how she had to work at a state school for a week and how horrific it was, how the children were like animals.  Also just heard she’s engaged, yes that’s right engaged.  Fucking lesbians

ME – Until she changes her facebook status I refuse to believe a thing!

Cave Woman – Oh yes facebook that ridiculous oracle of knowledge.  I’m having a guinness to recover.