Edinburgh

On a recent trip to Edinburgh, on a 13 hours drinking social, we found ourselves in an array of random situations…my personal favourite was the meeting of Miranda, a lovely young (?) lady who was a Medieval Studies student (she studied how to make arrows). She was an ‘interesting’ lady to say the least but her lovely high-pitched voice brought much joy to an hour or so of our evening (particularly as she laughed at most my awful jokes)

While discussing the wrongs of tequila shots in particular the suicide shot (snort the salt and squeeze the lime in your eye) she added this to the conversation

‘Once we didn’t have any salt so we just used MDMA‘

As if it were the most obvious solution… Later on as I spent some time ‘getting to know Miranda’ discovering the chap she was out with she had met only moments ago, she wasn’t from Edinburgh, she didn’t know why she was there nor for how long…

Lowry – So where are you from?

Miranda – I don’t know

Followed by a pause and what appeared to be some kind of effort to recall information, needless to say the conversation didn’t last long and I established she was better in a crowd

Later on in our adventures we met a group of Swedish boys who I have to say I think we destroyed, because the ‘be who ever I want to be’ game was far too tempting. During that evening I acquired a group of international sports women as friends, as well as my own world renowned sporting career, 2 children, a need to control my friends ‘inner tiger’, a hate of gays (I know I’m a bad person), an uncontrollable love of men, the loss of 6 years of my life, a birthday party, the knowledge that by dictionary (urban) definition I may in fact be a sex pest… and an array of other lies I have chosen to forget. However here are some of the more wonderful quotes from the trip

Ian (Barman 1) – You can scoop that ALL day

Lowry – I just choked on the unt of cunt

Slut – It was too big to be in my mouth any longer

Gloating Hubbie – I’ve just got sooooo many pound coins at the moment