While sat on my knee in the office, receiving a cheeky back massage (she is pregnant and likes to guilt me with ‘but the baby wants it’)…
Princess – would it be ok if I farted?
Lowry – Honestly? Are you really asking me this question?
Princess – At least I asked
Lowry – How about you stand up ad turn away from me
Princess – Don’t worry the moment has passed, I’ve reabsorbed it
Furby – So there I am on the tube, wedged into my seat on either side by a fat man and pregnant Chinese lady. I see that we’ve reached my stop, so to give myself ample time to embark, I stand up as it slow. It’s nearly stopped, so I take the first step towards the door. Then what happens? The driver decided he’s not close enough to the end of the platform, so speeds up again with a jerk that causes me to not only lose my balance, but to SIT ON THE LAP OF THE COMPLETE STRANGER OPPOSITE ME. Happy Thursday
ME – A chav just walked passed me wearing a padded headband with her name ‘Danni’ written on, in gold glitter pen. Anytime work gets hard be grateful that isn’t you.
The Facts of Life 