Feel For The Boyfriend

HM3 – I get nothing but hassle from my boyfriend in the morning

Me – What do you mean? Does he wake you up or pester you for sex?

HM3 – No *sigh* he’s up wanting to make me breakfast in bed

Me – Get a grip

Text from Cavewoman

‘Lowry is gay, Lowry is gay, Gayer than me.  What are you doing? Watching YouTube vids? Actual porn? Or attending a lecture?’

The Cure!

Me – Oh I am just about to learn how to treat homosexuality, I’ll be able to ‘cure’ us before we know it

Cave Woman – Oh that will be brilliant

Me – I think so

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Cave Woman – I listened to a podcast about these Nigerian women who were completely conned into going to Italy because they were put under a spell by this man who practiced something called ‘juju’ which is basically some witchcraft he made up.  They got there and were forced into prostitution and told they owe 35000 euros. This is a sick world

Me – Scary.  But seriously juju?!

CW – I know.  One woman had to have sex 10 times a day for 7 years to pay it back

Me – Right I’m not being rude or funny but who calculated this debt? Surely they would just continue to increase the interest and they would never be freed.

CW – They aren’t, it’s still happening

Me – Ok so all that sex didn’t actually cover her debt?

CW – You need to put it in iTunes, called ‘unreported world’

Me – I will check it later but along with my degree it may push me to hate the world

CW – Well both are nearly over…hopefully your degree before the world ends

Me – Hope so

Spartacus, Dogs, Moles and Tampons

While having a conversation about the TV show Spartacus

HM1 – It is pretty much like porn, everyone is having sex everywhere and all the women have their boobs out all the time

ME – Sounds good

HM3 – There was a lot of man on man action in the one I watched

ME – Where is the women on women?

HM1 – There is one near the end of the season where these two women get it on, you see pretty much everything that happens

ME -Do you really, or did you just look away

HM1 – No! Well you will just have to watch it

HM3 – Have you ever counted how many moles you have? I’ve got 72……Actually that’s not true, I don’t know how many I have.

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While watching The Only Way is Essex..

HM3 -What does ‘dog on heat mean?’ does it mean you are really horny or just that you are hot and a dog?

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Prior to a night out we decide everyone should make up a challenge that Furby has to achieve before the end of the night

Friend 1 – Get a boys number written on your chest

Me – Tell someone you would like to have sex with them, but would like to talk it through first

HM1 – Be my own private bar all night

Me – Good idea, maybe I’ll go with that one!

HM3 – Take some bobbles, tampons and lollies, go sit in the toilets and see how much money you can make!