More ‘Wise’ Words From Cavewoman

CW – It’s always great to start a new relationship by imagining someone else when you are having sex

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

In relation to Channel 4’s Living with the Amish

CW – I wouldn’t mind the lifestyle but i’d still want to go out on a Friday get totally fucked up and shag someone

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

CW – How do ugly people get pregnant and have children?

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

The little conversation had while watching ITV’s A Night With Beyonce (the family version!)

CW – Mate, wait for this bit

Lowry – Fuck me

CW – Oh my god

Lowry  – Quick rewind it…REWIND IT!

CW – mmmmmmmm

Lowry – Shit

CW – Can we watch that bit again?

Lowry – YES!

CW – Ergggg

Lowry – Are you drooling?

Lowry – This is insane

CW – She has fat knees like me – she’s brilliant

Lowry – Curving hell

Lowry – Did you see THAT!

CW – Oh gwaddd

CW – Shall we watch it again?

Lowry – alright

The Biggest Loser

While watching the final of The Biggest Loser on ITV…

HM3 – What’s the point, what do they win?

Me – Their health?!

After finding out there is a large sum of money to be won..

HM3 – I bet they pile on the weight just to get on the show

ME – This women is really amazing, she has totally changed her life to achieve her goal

HM1 – She goes to the gym everyday

HM3 – For now

ME – She is now an aerobics instructor

HM3 – For now

HM1 – She quit her job so she could take it really seriously, train and change her life

HM3 – what was her job..a cake tester?

Mopping, Bleaching, Singing and Jehovah Witness

Another little snipped into the daily running of our household began during a TV viewing session..

HM3 – She’s got really skinny arms

Silence [this women is on the larger side of life]

HM3 – You know, for her body

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

Whilst sat in the pub having a lovely lunch we found ourselves observing a group of people having some kind of presentation / thank you gift giving session, although we couldn’t work out exactly what they must have done together.  After realising we were all sat watching the same thing (conversation was really flowing)

HM1 – That’s a bit weird

HM3 – They must be Jehovah Witnesses

ME – I’m sorry what?

HM3 – I don’t know

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

Deciding to scrub our house from top to bottom we asked if HM3 could pick up a mop for us on her way home (as she had broken the last one in her first mopping experience).   On her return, with requested mop, the following conversation ensued

HM2 – So do you think I should take the bowl out the sink and fill the sink with water?

ME – You could just fill the bowl, it might be easier

HM2 – Yeah….but then it will be dirty

ME – Yes but then you can wash it

HM3 – With bleach

HM2 – Right ok…Silence

I look into the kitchen to see HM2 reading the packaging of the mop in the hope of finding some instructions…

ME – Would you like me to google some instructions for you?!?!

Once finishing her mopping duties HM2 enquired where she may find the bleach, being informed by HM3 that it is probably under the sink with the rest of our cleaning products…

HM2 – Yeah i looked there but couldn’t see it..what colour bottle is it in?

ME – The one that says bleach on the side

HM2 – It really doesn’t

HM1 goes to help her find it

HM2 – Oh no wait it say’s it in really big letters

ME – Bet it say’s it in braille too?!

HM2 – huh! it does.

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

On a somewhat busy day after a night of training I enquire if I should bother going to the gym

HM3 – NO!

HM1 – maybe go later on

HM3- NO!

ME – HM3 if I told you I had an obesity related disease and again asked if i should go to the gym what would you say?

HM3 – No, you are dying anyway you might as well enjoy it.

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

While getting ready for a night out…

HM1 – Shall I put some funky tunes on for us

ME – Are you going to sing along?

HM1 – Probably

ME – No.