It’s Only a Game Show…

Hilarious answers on game shows

Family Fortunes

Les Dennis: Name a bird with a long neck.
Contestant: Naomi Campbell.

Les Dennis: Name something associated with pigs.
Contestant: The police.

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University Challenge (My Personal Favourite)

Jeremy Paxman: What is another name for ‘cherrypickers’ and ‘cheesemongers’?
Contestant: Homosexuals.
Jeremy Paxman: No. They’re regiments in the British Army who will be very upset with you

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Beacon Radio (Right up there!)

DJ: For £10, what is the nationality of the Pope?
Contestant: I think I know that one. Is it Jewish?

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Richard and Judy

Richard Madeley: Which American actor is married to Nicole Kidman?
Contestant: Forrest Gump.

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The Weakest Link

Anne Robinson: Complete the title of the well-known play, The Iceman…?
Contestant: Melts.

Anne Robinson: What was the sequel to the movie I Know What You Did Last Summer?
Contestant: I Know What You Did Last Winter.

Presenter: What B was a pseudonym used by Charles Dickens?
Contestant: Bart Simpson

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National Lottery

Eamonn Holmes: What’s the name of the playwright commonly known by the initials G.B.S.?
Contestant: William Shakespeare.

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This Morning

Fern Britton: Which actress starred in Sleepless in Seattle and When Harry Met Sally?
Contestant: Tom Hanks.

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Late Show

Alex Trelinski: What is the capital of Italy?
Contestant: France.

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Blockbuster (A close second!)

Bob Holness: What K is a suicide mission for a pilot?
Contestant: Kama Sutra

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Sara Cox (Radio 1)

Sara Cox: Beauty is in the eye of the…?
Contestant: Tiger.

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Viking FM

Presenter: Who was the Prime Minister before Tony Blair?
Contestant: George Bush.

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BBC Radio Merseyside (Another favourite)

Presenter: What was Hitler’s first name?
Contestant: Heil.

King Charles didn’t start the fire

King Charles reworked version of Billy Joel’s ‘We Didn’t Start the Fire‘ genius…

Kate Moss, 50 Cent, Obama is the president
Peace is scarce, no one dares,litvinenko
climate change, live aid, katemine, new rave, loose morals, hearts are hollow,
indie on the radio

down with self esteem, another beauty magazine,
Bridgeport, suicide, Facebook the face dies,
hedge funds, boys with guns, manic state mania,
immigration stole the nation, Mother Russia, Abu Hamza

We didn’t start the fire
It was always burning
Since the world’s been turning
We didn’t start the fire
No we didn’t light it
But we tried to fight it

Putin has a breeding camp, but Mugabe stamps his people out,
the gallows take Saddam Hussein, the closing of Guantanamo Bay,
Tracy Emin and Doherty, Have we found a new disease?
David Beckham, Posh Beckham, earthquake, and vanity,
the Rolling Stones still play, we all know Tom Cruise is gay,
lime light celebrities, the season lost integrity,
Ian Huntley, Harold Shipman, Madeline is still missing, 20 virgins up in heaven,
what’s the cause of 9/11?

We didn’t start the fire
It was always burning
Since the world’s been turning
We didn’t start the fire
No we didn’t light it
But we tried to fight it

sensitive Islamist, satire struggles to exist,
cartoons, teddy bears could start a holy war,
X factor, Glastonbury, Laura Marling, ecstasy, Prince Charles and Camilla,
the media is a bloodsucker,

Tony Blair, Gordon Brown, they owned Koreas before the crown, I’m still loyal to the Queen, and she’s still loyal to you and me
Credit Crunch, cash for honors, northern rock, John Prescott,
labor government you embarrassed us all

We didn’t start the fire
It was always burning
Since the world’s been turning
We didn’t start the fire
No we didn’t light it
But we tried to fight it

advancing on the Israelites, terrorist for animal rights,
ununited generation, love is just a hippie notion,
Queen Mother laid to rest, absurd Diana inquests,
the grace of the Prince has stand it’s test,
?
Bombs over Baghdad, troops to Afghanistan, war on terror, friendly fire,
what’s the truth and what’s a lie?

Man has made himself a slave to oil, porn, gold and fame
But as the dollar weakens even further
Britain will be great forever

We didn’t start the fire